bridgecity's Diaryland Diary

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Splitter

Every year I feel it might be in my households’ best interest to chop firewood for the winter. Even though it’s only cold here for a few days, it seems like an amount of firewood preparedness is necessary. Every year it ends up being a fiasco and this year has been no exception.

I’ve been in need of a chainsaw for some years now but never got one. My father suggested I use a reciprocating saw to cut logs. It seemed like a logical solution. It ended up being a poor substitute for a chainsaw, so I went back to the old log splitting wedge/axe method. This method is grueling and unnerving at best, but I’d convinced myself I needed to finish what was started.

The log splitting wedge I use is one I found in my backyard when I moved in. It was buried under about an inch of dirt and found while doing some light landscaping. I didn’t know what it was and thought it was some sort of finial for a large gate. I made several small shrines with the odd metal bits dug out of the backyard and the log splitter was a nice pointy centerpiece. At any rate, a few years later I discovered it was a log splitting wedge.

I placed the log splitter at the end of the logs and struck repeatedly with a 15 lb sledgehammer until the logs almost magically shattered into neat firewood-shaped pieces. When I was finished, I noticed immediately my left ear was ringing so bad I couldn’t hear. The ringing got louder over the next few hours until it gave me a headache. This was the loudest ear-ringing I had experienced in my life, the next worse was after seeing the band called Sleep. I chalked it up to age. This pissed me off to no end. All of it. The ringing, the age, the firewood, the “winter”, my dad’s bad advice, my lack of a chainsaw. I don’t even really want a goddamn chainsaw, for fucks sake.

6:46 p.m. - 2021-12-09

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